Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Are you doing what you really want to do in life??

The other day, as I was just lazing around in my house, I just wondered, ‘If I had all the money in the world, what is it that I would truly want to do with my life?’To my horror, I did not have an answer. Then I tried, ‘What is it that would give me real happiness and satisfaction in my life?’ Again, no answer.
Then, I thought of trying this on others, just to figure out if it’s just me. I made a quick phone call to my friend back in India and asked her the same question. She replied ‘ummmm, good question. Let me think about it and call you back.’ She never called back with an answer.
 I asked another friend. She went like ‘I really want to do something with my dancing. It’s my passion.’ I said to her ‘then why don’t you? I’ve seen you dancing. You’re awesome at it’. She replied ‘arre, nahi yaar. Dancing mein kuch future, kuch paisa nahi hai!! (no buddy, there’s no future, no money in the dancing).’ 
Another friend replied ‘I love photography, but I’m not a professional and I’m not very good either.’
This really got me thinking.
In my opinion, the reason for the unhappiness, the frustration and all the chaos around us is twofold-
1. We do not know what will lead us to happiness
2.  We do not have the courage to pursue our dreams
Let’s look at them.
Steve jobs once said ‘You’ve got to find what you love.’
This is one of the greatest guiding principles ever. If we do not know what we enjoy doing, what gives us satisfaction or what is it that we want to do with our lives, how on earth are we going to be happy?
Try this exercise. Take a blank sheet of paper. On the front, pen down 10 things that you enjoy doing. It could range from poetry to algebra, from dancing to dissection or from social work to statistics.
Next, work by elimination. Cancel out things that are not as important as the others. Eventually the last one left is something that you truly enjoy doing, Take it up. Pursue it. It’ll take you places.
There may obstacles. Truckloads of them. Your passion may not fetch you enough money, may not sound ambitious to your friends and peers, may not go down well with your family. But, if you’re doing something that you really have your heart and soul in, trust me, you’ll be highly successful in the long run. For instance, if you take up gardening as your career, do not think, ‘what will others think of me? Will they think I’m a loser who has no ambition?’ It is not important what they think. They are not the ones who will live with it for the rest of their lives. It’s important how it makes you feel.
There may be failures in your way. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. You've got to find what you love. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.
Think about it.
Ruchika Agrawal
Editor – Dautya (GISO)

The law of seeds

Have you ever had a close look at an apple tree? There might be around five hundred apples on the tree and each apple has ten seeds. That's a lot of seeds!
One might wonder, "Why would you need so many seeds to grow just a few more apple trees?"
Nature has something to teach us here. It's telling us:  “Not all seeds grow. In life, most seeds never grow”.
So if you really want to make something happen, you had better try more than once."
This might mean:You'll attend twenty interviews to get one job. You'll interview forty people to find one good employee. You'll talk to fifty people to sell one house, one car, one vacuum cleaner, one insurance policy, or a business idea. And you might meet a hundred acquaintances just to find one special friend.
When we understand the "Law of the Seeds", we don't get so disappointed. We stop feeling like victims. We learn how to deal with things that happen to us.
Laws of nature are not things to take personally. We just need to understand them - and work with them.
Successful people might be the ones who fail more often. But they plant more seeds.

When things are beyond your control, here's something that you must NOT DO so as to avoid misery in your life:
-You must not decide how you think the world SHOULD be.
-You must not make rules for how everyone SHOULD behave.
-Then, when the world doesn't obey your rules, you get angry!
-Because that's what miserable people do!

On the other hand, let's say you expect that:
-Friends SHOULD return favors.
-People SHOULD appreciate you.
-Planes SHOULD arrive on time.
-Everyone SHOULD be honest.
-Your best friend SHOULD remember your birthday.

These expectations may sound reasonable. But often, these things won't happen! So you end up frustrated and disappointed.

There's a better strategy:
Demand less, and instead, have preferences! For things that are beyond your control, tell yourself: "I would prefer this, but if that happens, it’s OK too!" This is really a change in mindset. It is a shift in attitude, and it gives you more peace of mind. You prefer that people are polite.. but when they are rude, it doesn't ruin your day. You prefer sunshine.. but if it rains, it is ok too! 

To become happier, we either need to:
a) Change the world, or
b) Change our thinking.

It is easier to change our Thinking!

IN A Nutshell It is not the problem that is the issue, but rather it is your expectations and attitude attending to the problem that is the problem.
It's not what happens to you that determines your happiness. It's how you think about what happens to you that brings you peace of mind!
Think about it!

Editor - Dautya
Graduate Indian Student Organization